To my anonymous commentators

There is merit in any sort of comments even anonymous. Let me tell you a story.

During my time at the HIV hospice, I tried an experiment in my group sessions once a week. I told the boys that during my group sessions they can say whatever they want, criticise whoever they want, including me, shout or walk out of the sessions. But I carefully placed caveats that all must agree to. The rules of engagement. They were these. No violence, no destruction of property. And if anyone got out of control the other boys were to restrain him. Restrain not bash him up. They all agreed to the terms and during the 6 sessions or so, no one broke the rules.

And we had lively sessions when it got going. And in the interim period I noticed a marked change in many of them. Boys that never smiled before were cracking jokes. The tension in the center was visibly lower. They had someone to listen to them. It made a difference.

Of course all good things must come to an end. They got carried away. They questioned the cook why the food was so bad and it got to the ears of management. I was hauled up and the group sessions ended. Incidentally, the sessions were approved by management prior to its commencement so it wasnt a rogue session.

The freedom to express is important. There is healing there. But the next step is also important. I have hit a nerve. You are angry and so you react. That is good. That means you still have fire in you. Now try this. Calm your mind down. Consider all the evidence again. Take your time and give yourself permission to change your mind.

Now if you can do this faster and faster and within the time frame before your next move on the chess board, before the time runs out, you will be a stronger chess player. I promise you this.

You have fire. Now use it for your own good. It's much worse when the fire is out. Another very good step is to own your statements. Use your name. Be proud of it.