Saturday, July 3, 2010

The nature of parenthood

Parents by nature are protective of their kids. They want their kids to do well. When I was in the UK, I was shocked when I found out that many leave their homes at the age of 18. And from what I see of the Americans, they have little control of their kids. But on the whole, they are better risk takers because they are allowed to experiment.

We Asians are more controlling. Sometimes stiffling. But we all want the best for our kids. And we try to do our best.

But what do we really want underneath all these different methods of child raising?

In my case, I want my kid to learn how to compete as I want him to be able to stand tall when he faces the outside world eventually. I dont want him to be bullied, taken advantage of. I want him to learn how to take measured risks, have good judgement, learn how to tell who the predators are in all their sophisticated guises these days. They dont bare their teeths anymore nowadays, they come bearing sweets. Internet and TV?

I also want him to learn how to partner, how to find the right partners. We are heading for a globalised world, like it or not.

In chess, I found a useful tool to learn about healthy competition and genuine friendship, in my internet business he learns about partnerships.

Is that what you want too? Is that why you brought your kids into chess? Is that what you are getting out of it? Was it the plan to see their fighting spirits crushed out of them? Was it the plan for them to see us sitting down defeated and say there is nothing I can do? Is that the way to prepare them to face a globalised world? They will be facing it, like it or not. Not all will become GM's but there is value if they are lead by example. If we want our kids to stand tall, then parents, you are part of the system too, so are the trainers etc. etc. The kids are watching, learning to do as we do.

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