There is one distinguishing feature about coffee shop talk. We are always talking about somebody elses problem. And the best thing about it is that its always out of our hands anyway and so any "solution" we propose is OK since it will never be tested anyway. So we are safe.
And so we can now escape from our own problems. Neat.
It is perhaps the hardest thing in the world to solve our own problems. For that we need hope, confidence, passion.
We need a lot of passion to overcome the fear of seeing ourselves clearly. More passion than the fear. And chess can give you that. The passion that comes from chess can overcome alot. That is the gift of chess. But to utilise that gift we need to see more. More than just the technical. Only seeing the technical is an escape.