At the end of this narrative I think you will understand better why they don't want parents to know certain things and curiously also why only certain players are welcomed to represent State or Country.
Very shortly after Mark won the U12 Perak State Championship in 2005, 2 things happened.
The first was that Mark was cornered alone by a "trainer" and warned that he must train under him if he wants to continue to play for Perak. Please remember that we were new to the chess scene then and had no way of verifying that person's assertions.
The second thing that happened almost immediately after was that I was appointed to the committee by the then President. Yes, I was in PICA twice. The second time I was elected in 2009. So as a new parent at that time, I thought that they wanted my contribution. But there I was badly mistaken. What I found after accepting the post was that Mark was immediately attacked. Simple things like making him stand and wait for a long time when handing in his results while serving the others etc. Now you need to pause and reflect here. If I was out of the committee I would have made a scene. But as a powerless "committee" member I was supposed to be working with these officials and that set up a conflict. Team player or Not. Cause friction within the committee or not. So I held my tongue and instead advised Mark not to let their behaviour affect him.
It all came to a head finally when Mark was asked to leave from a selection for Merdeka Team event after being invited to attend by the VP then. Apparently I was not supposed to be told of it. And yes, I was still a committee member then. I tendered my resignation after that.
I hope you are starting to see what the real game is. Control. If you are State Champion, you are "supposed" to train under a particular trainer even if you do not think his training is any good. And they use appointments to the committee not for your contribution but to control you.
That is State level Perak where the methods are less refined. So lets see what happens at the National level in my next posting.
Are you starting to understand why they don't want parents to talk and I keep saying that our best defence is to keep sharing.
One other thing happened that I want to mention here but it happened a little later. I was quietly asked by an official to sponsor the tee shirts for the Perak contingent. So it's not enough that you spend time and money in developing the player, you are also "encouraged" to "develop" the officials. See you again in P3.