Victim mentality

I had a discussion with Greg this afternoon over lunch and a penny dropped. From some of the opinions I read on this blog and others, this is my take. I think the word "should" causes alot of problems. I hear, he should do this, they should do that. If anything is true in life, it's that they will not do what you think they should do.

I hear strong chess players saying if only I had support, I would be GM today. If only Dato Tan were to give me money etc. etc.

With the girl who probably lost the MSSPK championship beacuse of victimisation, I spoke to her mother. Her mum said, thank you, Raymond for what you are trying to do, but if we protest they will victimise my girl even more.

Sigh! The girl is already a victim from the inaction. This is what she will remember through her life. Don't they ever learn? People like this do not stop when you do not protest. I know. I've tried all sorts. Persuasion, explaining what they are doing is not helping chess, bringing the subject up in committees etc. So what can we do? I do not think we are helpless. I think we have a vote that we can use come AGM. We can write in to the organisers and ask, are you publishing the cross tables? And if they don't give you a satisfactory answer, we can stop going to suspect tournaments. There are many properly run tournaments now. We can publicise abuses. That, in my opinion, is the only way to stop abuses. Stop telling them what they "should" do or not do. It's a big waste of time and energy.

We need to take action, not whine and complain in blogs :),by the sides of tournament halls and over coffee or stronger beverages.

For those that want to excel in chess, keep going forward with whatever you have. Don't wait for Dato Tan to put money in your mouth. Eventually you will be noticed by the people that matter and if not you will have learned not to be a victim in life. And to me that is a gift worth as much as a GM title.

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