Maybe that is why you took that "deal". It is definitely a more tempting answer. Guaranteed place. How can I possibly match that?
But lets look more carefully since I did not offer you a solution you wanted then. Or at least a solution that you wanted to hear. First of all, was the deal kosher? Did they deliver on their promise to you? Was it even something that they can or should deliver in the first place?
So why do you think such a deal was offered? Is it because they care about you? That they want you to succeed? Think carefully on this. This may be the answer you are looking for if you really want that mental strength.
Or could it be that they were frightened of you? Did you get a measure of their true skill level? You are going to World Youth. Use that experience well. We measured the strength at Asian youth and we measure "them" at only around 2200 in today's chess. Test it out for yourself there if you found the results of the SEA games selection unconvincing.
Something else. At Asian Youth the top seed was only 2400, the rest were 2300 and 2200's. The strong ones at least. And they are the best in their Countries. These are the 18 year olds I am talking about. So they are not GM's at 15yo are they? Will they become GM's eventually? What do you think? So are you that far away? And is the race really lost? Don't let them fool you.
They used your fears against you. And that can only be because they are fearful themselves. If they really believe that they can beat you fairly, they wouldn't have had to resort to such underhanded ways. What do you think happened to you when you took that deal? Was that reflected by what you did to Sumant after that? I have known you a while. Was that the same Zhuo Ren I knew at one time? The Zhuo Ren I invited into my home?
Now you are instructed not to talk about it. I say talk about it. Those deeds can only thrive in the dark Zhuo Ren. I think you know that. If not for yourself then do it for the next person who will take your place. Do you want that to happen to someone else too? Could this why our Juniors seem to be dropping off after U12?
The crux is this. Their chess is not good. Your chess is just starting to grow. You have many years left to overtake them. But not this way. Improve your chess. Drop the dirty tricks. They are only for people who do not believe in themselves anymore. And so they try to cast an illusion about how "good" they are.
Here is your chance Zhuo Ren. Your chance to be strong mentally. And this is the prescription from me if you want to take it. Tell them to stuff their BS where the sun don't shine. Improve your chess and meet them across the board and beat them. Tell them no more deals.
If you take that prescription, I guarantee you that you will be mentally stronger. Dont become like them. They have given up. Take the other road, you'll go further. If you do that you can achieve those norms. But not this BS way.
Your real friends will tell you the truth Zhuo Ren even if you may not want to hear them at the time. Come back down to earth and see who your real friends truly are.